My mind has seemed to be going overtime lately. It's taking so long to go to sleep, which is so unlike me. I figure writing some of it for everyone to read will make it easier.... Life ebbs and flows and as soon as you feel like you are comfortable with who you are and what you're made of it all changes. I feel so uncertain of myself in so many arenas. I love to take pictures! It's a hobby and purely a hobby that I enjoy but I feel myself looking at others pictures and wonder why I even think I can do it! The sensible side of myself kicks in and I know that is crazy thinking but it still occurs. 2nd-Motherhood. Dynamics have changed once again and my sweet little, laid back, Sophie has become another child. Loud, bossy, back talking, and ready to burst into tears at any moment. I don't handle this new one very well! I'm having to re-learn some motherhood skills that I thought I had gotten pretty ok at. This morning involved a very, very angry Carsten declaring that Benjamin was no longer his brother, shouldn't be part of this family and he hated him. After being sent to his room several times to settle down I finally just asked him if he was upset that Benjamin would be starting Kindergarten soon? He nodded, we talked about it and the morning changed drastically. We are all not ready to have Benjamin gone during the day.
We've now added YW President to add to my uncertainties. I think I'm about to burst at times. There are so many strong women, many of whom are serving with me and served before me. This is a challenge not to just step back and leave everything to their very capable hands. Once again I know in my heart and spirit that this is where and what I should be doing at this time. Once again it's the battle of the brain vs the heart.
The battle of the brain is what I'm going through. My head keeps telling me these things and keeps me up.
Lemon Pepper Salmon & Loaded Sweet Potato
2 weeks ago
5 comments:
Oh Catherine,
I wish I had some great advice but as usual I have nothing. all I can say though is that I know you are cable of all the great things the Lord has in store (family and calling). You have been a wonderful friend all these years and I admire you and look up to you. Thanks for being the person in my life!
~Kim
Catherine,
Oh my goodness, I am feeling the exact same way. I just got called into YW too and my children are CHALLENGING me a lot and sometimes it is all too much for my mind to wrap around. Good Luck! Rachael
Catherine - You are one of the most amazing women I know. You will have no problem with YW Pres. (congrats by the way) and you are an awesome mom. The Lord will bless you for your faithfulness. Just endure. You and Matt are great examples to us. We look to you often to see how you guys do things in your family so we can figure out what to do in ours. Hang in there! We love you. ~ Laura
Hey, I just left a comment on how great your photography was, and didn't even know it was a hobby that you were interested in. There - you're good! Also, you are wonderful and strong in so many ways. The girls will love having you for their YW President, and I think as a mom - as soon as you get comfortable, they grow - imagine that. Hang in there & have fun with all the changes - you'll do great.
Oh Catherine, You'll be so fabulous as the YW President! What a fun, fun calling!! Oh, and I've always admired you as a Mother so I have confidence that your kids will turn out fabulous! I'm not looking forward to Lucy getting older, I like her age now. I keep telling her to stop growing but she just laughs at me.
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